4th day of Recess.
Time flies so fast, I really feel that there's not much time to study at all but I'm trying.
At least I realized that I focus pretty well after 6pm, if I've got nothing on in the morning. If I do, I'll be tired and focus level hits rock bottom.
I dreamt about something interesting last night. It was a lovely spy adventure, like I was in a mission. Guess who I dreamt of in the mission as well? Little Irene. LOL.
If I could draw, I'd draw out what I saw her wearing. She had long, curled hair, spectacle-less and in a black suit with makeup on. NOW, if you ask me to picture her in a feminine wear, I'll immediately remember that.
I totally feel that... once school starts, my life will turn up-side-down.
Yeap, good day and let us hope that it continues to rain till May.
Whom have you lost touch with that you wish were still in your life?
The girls I used to play "RPG" with after school in Pioneer. T__T Those were exactly THE DAZE I tell ya! It's amazin'.
It's a crazy 0522 right now, the 3rd day of Recess and I'm hacking the night, not taking any advantage of the rest. Just took a shower an hour ago and everytime when I had late night showers, I kept on recalling this good ol' mate of mine that used to tell me that I'll get an easy stroke or something if I continue doing it this way. Well, I guess I'll be a very ill person in the not-far future cuz' I've been keeping it up this way.
Whilst drying up the hair, I'm thinking of what to study for tomorrow... or rather later. I'm getting a bit lazy but I've gotta head back school like I told myself to. The thing is, I felt like I wasted the first 2 days of Recess, quite badly. I have not felt any regrets yet but I will -- soon enough.
Mmm... I've been watching Ranma 1/2 as I study. Did I mention that my workspace did a bit of revamped so I could pretty much feel at ease while watching a video and doing my work at the same time without my parents suspecting. No more straining necks! ^_^ It feels good but now, I'm feeling the lappy is getting a bit of a distraction so whenever I turn it out, I'll feel guilty for a second. :p
Mmmm. yea, time for a good rest and then I'll wake up and revise up something tomorrow.
Hopefully it'll be a great, rainy day.
Goodnight
What was the worst rule your parents imposed when you were a teenager?
Hanging out in the night.
Worst in a way that it punched in quite a fear in me when the clock hits after 8pm when I'm out in mall or away from home.
I can't help feeling, "Uh oh, mom/pap gonna be grouchy. I'm going to get scolded."
But when I reached home now, they are soundly asleep. That means they don't nag, for now.
It's the start of Recess today! It's DAY 1 of RECESS! And I'm like swaying a bit here and there at home, some other coursemates are probably rushing away with their CIPD. It'll be my turn in the next semester, provided I'm still allowed to be there.
The weather is pretty cool today. It's pouring outside -- super lovely -- I wish it lasts for the whole day. Sometimes, I can't help wondering if the weather is playing a fool of me because I really love dark, rainy weather as compared to a really, really bright sunny day, and my life is pretty much set with that condition. Wouldn't any indoor girls agree with me?
It's always like this, when I've got nothing important on the day, it pours. When I do, it doesn't and it gets me really grouchy about it. I just can't take it! I'd paint my whole house in dark colors if this continues.
I was a bit emotional last night and I couldn't help clinging around Thurdy but just stayed silent the whole time, or rather, speechless. I watched a bit of human embalming then I was catching 'The Pianist' while watching 'The History Channel' where they were showing some toturing stuffs, both just leave me speechless. I thought I was cool with dead people, but dead people always shows how miserable life was always, that's what I feel. I want to die, smiling.
I was planning on revising a bit today. Probably one of these days, I'd conquer my laziness and go back to school to do my graphic assignments and stay there the whole day till I'm done with it. It'd probably won't be an easy week. I'm pretty sure there'll be problems.. and uneasiness coming up. There's still HW210's report untouched yet... which I'm hoping so badly that we could just meet up online do a quick discussion on who is doing what. If that goes smoothly, I'll grab another day in school, in the library or so, to grab a book and work on my part of the report.
I'm just worry if everything will flow smoothly... or not. When will things ever be perfect? NEVER!
Mmmm.. last week was horrible, Friday especially. It was undescribable but all I can say is that I was devestated. I wanted to tell people but I don't know how to go about to let it out. So I kept it inside and let it explode within, it was a wrong choice though.
My thoughts weren't synchronizing, feelings were messed up and... I just wanted to cut myself up with something to vent off. Scissors was just beside. I can't believe lately I'm thinking of cutting myself. I guess I'm having low serotonin.
2 weeks back, I went for blood donation. I didn't went for the sake of goodwill, perhaps 20% was. The rest, was pure vent. I wanted to find ways to feel totally relaxed and don't know what will be the fasted to feel that immediately. So, I dropped by and immediately donated.
Anyway, I gotta back to work. So, good day.
I just kept on screwing up and screwing up non-stop these couple of days.
What the hell am I getting restless about, seriously?
What am I not putting down and move on finely, with no screw ups?
Crappp... life is like a total crap right now. It's almost like 90% of red crosses spanning all over your homeworks and more to come as long as your homeworks are not given back to you yet..
All I want is just to do well... maybe I'm think too much.
Goodnight.
What keeps you up at night?
I wish I could type that something good is keeping up at night but right now, it's all the revisions going on in my life that spans most of my time.
February 5th is Disaster Day. What natural disaster are you most scared of experiencing?
I'm most afraid of drowning since I don't know how to swim.
So, I guess heavy flood that rises up to 2meters from ground will scare the crap out of me definitely.
By the way, thanks for telling that February 5th is Disaster Day, that - I do not know. :)
If I could, I would.
I would just post up a video of all the things I saw in the day and the stuffs that goes through my mind, sense and feelings.
I can tell you now that I'm pretty much an avid fan of cyborgtic eyes.
I can also tell you that I'd put myself on that surgery table to be operated on just for those mechanical eyes, wired through my head, grabbing neurons around (or whatever you call it), obtaining all of my sensories... because I really don't want to lose precious memories...
... ah! A thought just came in. I'd be interested in AI, I suppose?
Now I'm curious about myself and my future.
Earlier on in the day, I guess you'd never tell yourself this as well (on what circumstances anyway?) but... I was actually telling myself that, "I'm a guy, blissfully living in a female body, hanging out with the ladies, surrounded by ladies."
How's that from a horny man's point-of-view? Hm?
Enough of crap, I've got codes to rush before the sun comes up and destroy my mood. Gotta avoid that.
So, goodnight!
