7 posts tagged “thought”

It's 12.14am and I'm still drying my hair. In about ~40minutes time, I think Firefox 3 Download Day event will start?
 
 
Earlier on, I had my usual chest pain and breathing difficulty after shower, again. This time, I can't find anymore reasons to bluff myself. I'm guessing my daily activities are so dull my body is complaining about it as well?
 
Oh, it's the time of the year again where I go about deciding if I should cut my hair but this year, my decision was quick, I'm gonna have it cut in these couple of days when the weather looks like it's going to rain in the early morning. This makes the atmosphere during hair cutting much enjoyable. I dreamt about getting a hair cut a couple of nights ago, with a style to it. I look good in it, really! But I can't remember how it looked like now. I'll take the usual.

I really do wish the neighborhood mall has an interesting theme every couple of month. I'd have enjoy Halloween the most and make the start of this period as hair cut day!
 
 
By the way, I really can't predict what is Vichy trying to do to me. At one time, it felt good with it and then another, I felt like it's trying destroy its reputation. :/ I don't understand but I'll see the result in a week time for the VN log! I'm really sacrificing myself to do this test but if it's for the "Removing Imperfections" battle, it's worth the try!
 
 
Hubby and I are getting along fine, back as usual, but these couple of days, I wanted to see his cheery self so much like he used to because I can feel he's not behaving right though I made him smile before leaving for work.
 
Honey, can you be happy as natural as possible? :) I love that way of you, you're more of yourself when you're like that, it feels comfortable but now, you're like trying to change yourself or hiding inside or should I say... holding back in order not to harm me.
 
It felt different... I can sense it. Am I sensing wrong?

My soul is disturbed -again- but I'm keeping it calm... very calm indeed. I'm routing and searching for paths and new ways while staying steady. I hope everything will be fine. In fact, I wish everything was fine in the first place. I still feel dumb and immature.

My new chair (luck) is coming tomorrow afternoon or so it stated on my receipt. My spine will probably yell out in happiness and although I probably won't have school this year (not sure yet), I still want to get a new getting out bag other than the one which I used before for school purpose... For the time being, I guess I'll have to fold it up and keep it inside a box till I'm confirmed a student once again.

I don't know what crap I wrote too but I was damn serious about that reason. It's no harm trying to be honest with the reason deep in my heart right? I'm guessing whoever reads it (which is not possible) will whine about the way I write but I mean what I wrote in that 50 words box. Yeap, they limited it down to 50 words, so to summarize what Thurdy had roughly helped me gotta in the ideas -- what I wrote turned out pretty crappy.

Anyway, this crappy reason is going to make a major twist in my life or not. What can I say now? It's done.

Aiyah! Forgot to update my CSR today because I thought it was Sunday since pap was at home. Every time when pap is home, the day will feel as though it's a weekend because the only time I get to see him the whole day is usually on the last 2 days of the week. Since the day I started to remember things clearly, this practice has been like this already. So, if pap retires one day, I'd probably relax everyday and thought it's Saturday or Sunday!

I'll remember to log tomorrow, it's quite saddening to look at my skin too. Although from CSR I achieved a smooth skin already but my skin quality sucks --- I see large pores in a few areas and clear red marks, I'm not sure if BP will continue to help me in these areas but I'm pretty sure I gotta do something soon or else. Haiz, I'm just 19 and my skin is probably around 40+. How I regret not looking after my face well when I used to have a nice fair one. If only I hadn't join hockey but something else "Ensemble Club", maybe? I wouldn't be in such a bad state. I wish I can get free London or New York discount vouchers, New York especially, I need themmmmm~! I think I can slowly understand what woman is as I slowly turned 20 in a couple of weeks time.

Woman are just... troublesome but they are interesting. I don't know which viewpoint I'm standing on exactly but that's definitely what I feel and felt for the past few years. Troublesome to maintain! I'm not even old yet and I'm dealing with face and fat problems, just imagine when I'm in my 40s (if I can live that long), I'd be having a terrible time with old age illness, probably my spine injury will start first. Hai~~ ya~~~!
 
 
But life is good anyway, it's a century long race to run on.
 
 
I realized from the mirror I was checking myself on at GoldLion store yesterday that I'm FAT! Big problem! I sat for too long already but today when pap decided to buy back KFC Family Feast for lunch (it comes with a free mug! Go get it!), I didn't resist. :) What an idiot I was. This year's delivery count as well as packed food is getting too high. That's not good but what can we do? Mom's the only one that knows how to cook but her hands are giving her problems so she can't cook often. I can't cook because my parents are preventing me from the stove, they worry that I may burn down the kitchen from the way I handle the pots and pans and the amount of ingredients I used. Ston's not at home too, big bro and dad cooked sucky food. What to do? Can't help the packed food, deliveries and instant noodle for the time being then. :(( I want to eat good homemade cooked food soon.

How long will this last? I hope Thurdy lives here because he can cook. :( Mom will love him I guess? I got a guy that can rules the kitchen as well as the sky. :)
 
 Oh, regarding getting fat. I love it anyway. :p Unless, someone wants to ask me out to the gym together? :]
 
 
This Wednesday is going to be critical for me. I got to draft my appeal well.
 
 
Oyasumi.

Oh no... I'm feeling low, not sure if it will affect my sleep like what I used to have before last month. Damn insomnia challenge again, I'm afraid of that. :(

Today, I managed to overcome my low mood thanks to this song I've been replaying over and over again. :( But that's for today.

:((((((((((((( So so sad.... I'm not given the chance to study this year. I really don't want to waste this year doing something else other than studying. If only there are more local Universities... the feeling right now is definitely the same feeling I'm having when I'm trying to get into Polytechnic. It's the same! Argg.. why do I always have to play such a near "it's the end" type of game? :(

NUS must be processing my rejection letter. :(

Hmmm... after watching this, I wonder if hubby is interested to pick up mandarin? ;) Maybe?

Hubby sent so much photos to me yesterday and it was OH--SO-CUTE! Ah, he's a big man now. I still got photos of him he sent me 3 years ago when we first met, a little boy. :p But right now, he's really like a man and I'm still looking like the same old kiddo I used to be before in those pictures I sent him. Mmm.. it's fine with me, he's fine with it too.

Today, I was checking out on Kanon Wakeshima, a new musician that just made her debut recently with the song "Still Doll". Yea, the ending of Vampire Knight. Really nice, really good and I love it a lot. I was just trying to piece together the idea of Gothic and cellist together... and Mana did a nice job. She's great and her voice too. Since Mana produced her, I got curious about Mana too and so I went to check out on him and the band he had, get to know more about visual kei, Goth and lots more, from Gackt to Klara to Hyde. Also, curious and wants to see the more manly side of him with him talking as well. Seems like Mana seldom talks and that interests me. Err... nope, I'm not a fan yet.

I realized I'm interested about it. :p Thought it will be cool to walk along the Goth style but not too heavy. I told about it and asked him what he thinks about Gothic and cellist getting together, cool or not? He replied boring. :/ Yea, Thurdy was right about them being emo-emo but that brings out a coolness behind that I admire... the same way I adore the idea of vampire.

Ahh.. interesting night I have, I've got a new genre of music taste added into my favorite list tonight.

Oh, I haven't got letter today too. It's getting depressing and the forum I keep on visiting to check out on the people there to see if they receive any letters are getting in a tight mood and not so active anymore.

Haiz... nothing to help to kill my waiting thoughts now. In fact, there's no point to keep on moving until there's something for me to get started with. Not a job... but rather I hope it's the excitement and anxiousness of mugging soon and working hard soon.

My dearest woke up early today for some drill exercise there. I think it'd be better if there's drill everyday so he will wake up early and I won't have a hard time trying to get him up. I love doing anything for him except waking him up for school. I admit I quite dislike it.

Oh, there's no letter for me today but someone over at the forum got one and I was happy for whoever she is.

Ston is back from camp too and was engrossed in his offer. It was hard for me today to suppress my feelings of depress and trying to pull up an engaging-in-his-excitement mood which turned me into a kiddo. Quite pathetic too. He got really hyped up when he found out that this offer are made to only 60-80 students and he was lucky to get it. I got curious about the intakes too for Computer Science so I went to check it out --- as expected, it doesn't state. Eck. Ston was nice enough to cool me down, asked me to wait patiently and explained to me stuffs so as to make it feel that I still have chances, somehow. So, to kill my noob acts, everyone in the house avoid "the letter" topic.

There was something interesting Angie showed me today... something that I don't know if I should feel happy or... be concern about.

Anyway, anyone enjoying the song in my previous entry? A song for young lovers... a song that I want to share with everyone who are in love, deeply.