12 posts tagged “thurdy”
Trust will grow back again because I love him.
I was thinking about it... guess I'll drop the matter. If they want to say, I don't have to ask already. It's up to the both of them to see if they want to tell me and put an end to this game.
I'm tired of getting whole load of confusion when I'm in an unsure situation at the moment. Just wanna keep a super low profile, like right now, no brothers around and my parents are sleeping, the house turned into such a peaceful place as though I'm living alone.
Probably, it's all meant to be. When hubby is here, we shall pay a visit to dear Michael then. I just hope hubby feels better when he wakes up which should be around the time now to wash up and go for work.
So worry for him as well.
It's hard to give my full trust on Thurdy right now after what I found out yesterday night. If he's here, intending to explain everything to me --- I'm so going to beat him up to pulp but I'm glad... this is not happening now. I don't wish to do so either...
I don't know who is Marko anymore too, I don't know if he's trustworthy.. what is going on?... I really don't know. Probably the both of them treated me as an outsider. Maybe..
I don't know who is lying and who is not. I just don't know now. In the end, I was the silly dumb one that got dragged in.
Ahh.. can't imagine not mentioning this. I wonder why I mentioned "...what's the point in getting happy?" I guess I was really mad then but it's actually worth being happy about!!
Thurdy passed his finals! Weeeeeeeeee~... next stop! --------> FLIGHT INSTRUCTOR! Yayyyy! :D
I've thought about it, I don't mind small achievements.. it leads to big stuffs actually. Flight instructor is going to be a great job with a sweet pay! :) I hope my husband can treat himself more with the pay he's getting... :)
Flight instructor now and then slowly to the next goal. No rush I find.. the person who got an expensive hobby and dream is him and needs time to save up cash for the next stop. I just want to continue on be his strength.
Once again, congratulation honey! :D
I'm glad my bad luck didn't follow you... otherwise.. haiz.. but regarding meeting my parents... I still think you have to be on guard, ok?
Argg.. I felt pure stupidity and fatness of myself. I hope Thurdy don't feel bad and concentrate on his test. I'd be guilty if he didn't do well for today and it will be my fault definitely. I don't have the intention to make the start of his day sucked. I was wrong to get mad at him earlier on when I was trying to wake him up over MSN (I hated doing this so much but still when the clock hits 6, I'll spam him messages like an MSN-Alarm thing).
Probably the frustration of downloading and backing up my work from LEO this afternoon made me cranky. I went berserk pressing my keyboard buttons, got really worry that he was not replying, thinking that he was still sleeping and don't want him to be late for his test.
The berserk limit dried out and I got mad. I went offline straight away but got back in thinking that probably it was my MSN being laggy. I was still worry. When I got in back and spammed a couple more messages, there was no reply from him either until he finally replied he was all set to leave for school which made me went uber mad about it. I was thinking, "Why didn't you at least reply me with something to let me wait for you?". At least, that will calm my mind of worries and madness.
So, I told him that I was mad but I don't want to talk about it anymore since he was getting late and asked him to rush off right away. Thinking about it again, it was my fault. I still shouldn't have get mad about it but really, waking him up over MSN is irritating. Hubby just got to start loving his alarm otherwise, I'll make him do so.
It's not that I hate waking him up but bringing this into MSN really kills me. I'd rather wake him up when I'm close to him or die than to do anymore MSN-Alarm for him. Ahh... the distance is getting into my nerves like a poison but I got to relax. I got to... for the sake of our future.
Oh yea, I can download my work off from LEO when I was on the main desk but on lappy, it was impossible. That's good, one task off the list.
I've been wanting to talk about my 2 mommies - one blood-related and one not official yet but.. that's Thurdy's mommy.
The blood-related mommy is a fierce looking woman according from what my ex-schoolmates commented and is not a spendthrift. She's quite a saver and taught me how to lie. :) She taught me not to trust me people easily and by default, everyone should be treated as an enemy plus numerous other stuffs which she prefers to hint it and let me figure it out myself than telling it to me directly. She's quite a person who gets worry easily and loves to eavesdrop on topics that we don't talk to her about but to dad. She's not a good morale supporter but she tries. Hmm.. this roughly sums up about her.
The not official mommy is Thurdy's mom. In my mind, I feel that she's a lovely person who yearns for her passed away husband badly. She lets Thurdy to be with me and even played online games with me while Thurdy was away which made me feel that that's so cool! Although I haven't meet her before and I never can already but through Thurdy's photo album, she's still a cool figure in my mind that brought up a son with such great ambition. So, if you ask me what's the first thing I'll do when I'm in the US, that's definitely to visit Thurdy's parent's grave and plant some sweet smelling lavender if it's possible around it or roses. I believe she's looking over me too, she had seen my pictures and hear my voice before. :)
Hmm.. yesterday, Thurdy brought roses for her. It was lovely. :)
Aiyah! Forgot to update my CSR today because I thought it was Sunday since pap was at home. Every time when pap is home, the day will feel as though it's a weekend because the only time I get to see him the whole day is usually on the last 2 days of the week. Since the day I started to remember things clearly, this practice has been like this already. So, if pap retires one day, I'd probably relax everyday and thought it's Saturday or Sunday!
I'll remember to log tomorrow, it's quite saddening to look at my skin too. Although from CSR I achieved a smooth skin already but my skin quality sucks --- I see large pores in a few areas and clear red marks, I'm not sure if BP will continue to help me in these areas but I'm pretty sure I gotta do something soon or else. Haiz, I'm just 19 and my skin is probably around 40+. How I regret not looking after my face well when I used to have a nice fair one. If only I hadn't join hockey but something else "Ensemble Club", maybe? I wouldn't be in such a bad state. I wish I can get free London or New York discount vouchers, New York especially, I need themmmmm~! I think I can slowly understand what woman is as I slowly turned 20 in a couple of weeks time.
Woman are just... troublesome but they are interesting. I don't know which viewpoint I'm standing on exactly but that's definitely what I feel and felt for the past few years. Troublesome to maintain! I'm not even old yet and I'm dealing with face and fat problems, just imagine when I'm in my 40s (if I can live that long), I'd be having a terrible time with old age illness, probably my spine injury will start first. Hai~~ ya~~~!
But life is good anyway, it's a century long race to run on.
I realized from the mirror I was checking myself on at GoldLion store yesterday that I'm FAT! Big problem! I sat for too long already but today when pap decided to buy back KFC Family Feast for lunch (it comes with a free mug! Go get it!), I didn't resist. :) What an idiot I was. This year's delivery count as well as packed food is getting too high. That's not good but what can we do? Mom's the only one that knows how to cook but her hands are giving her problems so she can't cook often. I can't cook because my parents are preventing me from the stove, they worry that I may burn down the kitchen from the way I handle the pots and pans and the amount of ingredients I used. Ston's not at home too, big bro and dad cooked sucky food. What to do? Can't help the packed food, deliveries and instant noodle for the time being then. :(( I want to eat good homemade cooked food soon.
How long will this last? I hope Thurdy lives here because he can cook. :( Mom will love him I guess? I got a guy that can rules the kitchen as well as the sky. :)
Oh, regarding getting fat. I love it anyway. :p Unless, someone wants to ask me out to the gym together? :]
This Wednesday is going to be critical for me. I got to draft my appeal well.
Oyasumi.
"Blessing in disguise".
Although pap and Thurdy haven't meet each other yet but sometimes, the thing they thought, concern and mention about to me... clicks. They're like my 2 palms in my life. Thurdy said it's because pap's gonna be his pap too. Yea.. :)
Thurdy had been mentioning it the whole time this May just to cool me down... and I was looking at our conversation about it again. Times and times, he kept on telling me but my mind was close and wasn't taking in his suggestion. When I read it again, it really tells me how dumb I had been for a while...
Since the first day of May, although I haven't got any letter yet but he had been concerning already. I wonder why I'm not thinking that way then? With a stubborn and close mind, that's why.
But earlier on... Thurdy's last (probably) blessing in disguise reminder to me is in this story form which created a deep impact. I hope my mind will open up soon.
Whereas for dad, he said blessing in disguise as well this morning when he was trying to comfort me while typing an email for me. I wasn't listening to him much since I was surprise at such a coincident but I guess he's just telling me the same thing too -- think positively no matter what. He's supporting, Thurdy's supporting, I'm lucky, right?
The only too bad will be not being able to start studying this year and it shouldn't matter to me much. There's always next year and the year after next and after next and loads.. I'm just too concern about certain things that makes me so determined to do it now.
Although I didn't sleep well but today's a new day for me. I'm silly enough to keep letting old memories churning inside, it's time to throw those unwanted ones and get on with it.
I wish doing it is as easy and saying it.
Time to look for game to kill time on! \(^~^ )/
By the way, honey, my dearest hubby Thurdy... I love you so much. I'm going to be your slaveeeeeeeeeeeeee!!
Probably I don't deserve your great love but I still want to confess that and everyday when you're with me.
I dreamt of Thurdy. It was the most clearest dream I ever had about him. It was surprising but at least, it was so sweet.
I miss him so much right now...
If he's online, I'm going to tell him about it straight away.
And you're not around.
I'd hug it. I'd talk to it. I'd kiss it and perhaps, I'd vent my stress on it too and hope you don't mind honey.
It's just too cute and it's sitting on my workspace, watching me work, just like what you always want to.
I should have thought of getting one.
I had a lot before, they were all burnt. I wonder how long this will last? This question just keeps on popping into my mind but I believe, it will survive.
